Two years have passed since my beloved parents have left us.
I do not regret their leaving us as they both had much sufferings to put up with. For that reason I am happy that their ordeal is completed
I do not regret any of the quality time we have had. It is part of having loved them to the best of my ability and being loved by them in their own way.
But I do so miss their presence, their smiles, their words of encouragement, the constancy of their help no matter what, and their familiar sayings.
They have practiced what is called “UNCONDITIONAL LOVE”. This type of love brings forth from me words of thanks.
At first this lack of presence used to send a piercing pain in my heart as it is hard to grasp the meaning of one moment they are here and next they are gone.
I used to stare at my favourite photo of them together on Papa’s chair. Photo taken by my sister on April 23, 2008.
I found myself listening to music Papa loved and I used to feel close to him then.
I found myself going to the shop and smelling all the different types of washing powder so my clothes would have the same smell as Maman’s.
The list is so long it would be impossible to transfer them all here.
I remember thinking that this cannot be too healthy. Not now. For me, I know I had to do this to get over the grief feelings.
We all have a different way to cope with losing our loved ones. This was my way and I believe this was a necessary part of growing for me.
Whenever my siblings or other close members of the family meet, we often remember special occasions or recount times when it used to bring us together.
Nowadays we’ve had so many reminders that even though they are not visibly present, they somehow have managed to keep an eye on each one of us.
We feel unashamed to call out to them for help and they come.
My eldest sister can recount her recent story in a comment if she wishes as it does illustrate that point.
The little house I recently bought had all the markings of Maman’s choice in it. Did she guide me to it?
I asked my sister to check a house No65 for me. Of course gave her the wrong address. Then I found it again and she went to have a look.
She was thrilled and said that’s it. The colours and the look of the place were exactly what Maman and I had discussed one day a few years back.
Time is a healer, it is true.
Pain of feeling this loss is not stressful since it derives its healing power from having loved 2 beautiful human beings.
I found this poem and it was so appropriate, I have to include it here:- It and other poems and prayers can be seen at
Death is nothing at all.
Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity.
[There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident?]
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well.
Canon Henry Scott Holland of St. Paul’s Cathedral
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