SELF PRESERVATION, those 2 words have been the cause of many misunderstandings.
Often we are unaware of it. It is at work in the background causing friction and its unfortunalte results.
One can think of it as having deep roots that spread out like tentacles. Don’t anyone dare touch or trample on them. Warning signals are felt and start the ball rolling.
SELF PRESERVATION IS AFTER ALL OUR STRONGEST BASIC INSTINCT.
We survive and can thank this basic instinct many times for its warning signals.
Where does this instinct get its knowledge? It has gleaned and stored images and situations galore where it felt its host has been in grave danger. So it has protected the host.
However the knowledge stored is at times warped for many of those souvenirs come from either a young age or misunderstood situations.
Let’s take an example:-
A man and a woman meet and fall in love. At first the sun shines and they both feel like they are floating. Not a single cloud in their sky. Looking at life, as it said, through rose coloured glasses.
One day, the man makes an innocent gesture or says anything as a joke.
He is unaware that he has just walked over one of the woman’s preservation roots.
The woman reacts, is aware of danger, however she is very much in love so the coloured glasses are slightly tainted. She prefers to ignore it for the moment.
Life goes on, more innocent incidents occur.
Within a period of time, both partners have quite heavily tainted glasses.
Both have ignored the warning signals from SELF PRESERVATION INSTINCT.
How do they fix it?
Long uphill battle to see where they went wrong. No one is at fault really.
As it so often happens to ward off painful or unwanted memories, blame is sometimes appointed to one while the other fights for justice, being falsely accused.
How often do we simply talk things over without appointing blame?